COVID Sends Release on NH Speaker Death

Coronavirus sent this press release today after the Speaker of the New Hampshire house died of the novel Coronavirus: "I'm tired of being ignored or labeled as fake. I will be heard, seen, and felt by all who question me. It's funny, you know masks can defeat me, but much like the pirates of Somalia, I'm quick, adaptive, and will strike at night. I prefer big gatherings, but I'll take chance encounters. If you give me the opportunity I won't miss. I look forward to a productive 2021 Legislative session in Montana as I have many allies in the Republican caucus. I had dinner with Derek Skees and Barry Usher last night, I'll be with the Knudsen's this weekend and the Regier's over Christmas as we plot the takeover of the entire legislative body(pun intended), next year. If they just wore masks all my strategies would fail, but they're working closely with me to make sure I succeed."